I regularly read and dissect popular relationships books, sharing the most relevant information and correcting misguided fallacies. In this post, I cover Chapter 15 of The Relationship Handbook.
Chapter 15: Commitment
Pransky’s Take
Commitment to a relationship enables you to experience its full potential.
Commitment can be defined as a wholehearted, single-minded predisposition to a person or activity. It is all about our degree of mental involvement.
Commitment requires no sacrifice because it is actually self-fulfilling and self-serving.
Commitment comes before enjoyment, not because of it.
Lack of commitment comes from insecurity.
The Sigma Male Says
Pransky chooses an apt topic to end his book, since fully committing to a relationship is the only way to build and sustain it.
Instead of jumping in with both feet, many couples err in thinking they will fully commit after they have built a perfect relationship. Men, in particular, seem to have a greater difficulty committing to relationships, somehow believing they may eventually find greener pastures. This approach becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Lack of commitment is distracting, only leading to a nit-picking focus on your partner’s flaws. This is why the Sigma Philosophy requires a man to accept complete responsibility for the state of his relationship, regardless of his spouse’s faults. Complete responsibility — total commitment — leaves no room for excuses.
Amazingly, as Pransky points out, total commitment is actually self-serving. Once a man decides to do whatever it takes to protect his relationship, the resulting benefits far outweigh any costs.
By now you may have recognized the following oft-repeated paradox: to get what I want (selfishness), I must put my wife’s needs ahead of my own needs (selflessness). This is an overused cliché, a favorite of marriage counselors.
Being selfless doesn’t mean you can’t wish for good things to come to you. True masculinity allows you to give your wife what she really wants while getting what you really want – at the same time. (The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want pp. 155-156)
Only a full-hearted commitment allows this to come true.
Additional chapters: 1-A Fresh Start, 2-Compatibility, 3-Communication, 4-Moods, 5-Emotions, 6-Compassion, 7-Dissatisfaction, 8-Change, 9-Bringing out the Best, 10-Transcending Problems, 11-The Source of Conflict, 12-Levels of Relationship, 13-It’s Never Too Late, 14-Intimacy
George S. Pransky’s book, The Relationship Handbook: A simple guide to satisfying relationships, is a lesser-known, self-published book that contains a number of good insights into building a strong marriage. This book is worth reviewing as a supplement to my book, The Sigma Male, while working to overcome the problem of Gender Role Reversal.
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Dr. John Alexander is relationship expert and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about Sigma Coaching, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his page on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter.
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