Book Critique: For Women Only, Part 7 of 10: Visual Stimulation

Book Critique Part 7, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, Shaunti Feldhahn

Part 7. Men struggle with visual temptation.

Feldhahn’s Take

This means the vast majority of men respond to visual images when it comes to women. And, this doesn’t just mean the guys with wandering eyes. Even the most godly husband cannot avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a way that draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a glance, these visual images are stored away in the male brain as a sort of “visual rolodex” that will reappear without any warning. Men can choose whether to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but they can’t control when these images appear.

The Sigma Male Says

If a man is a Sigma, his wife will recognize it and will know that she is his top priority, making her feel completely secure in every way. She will know she is walking around with a complete man, and of course, other women will notice him just as he might notice them. But this fact builds her confidence, because she is able to say  without hint of jealousy, “Eat your heart out. You might be hot but this is my man!” 

On the contrary, when a man is not a Sigma, a woman knows she is not his top priority and gets jealous easily. She is suspicious about even the slightest sideways glance, and she feels a motherly need to keep her man in check, letting him know what is and isn’t appropriate. In this case, a woman is insecure because she is not being protected by a Sigma, leaving her to protect herself from an injury that might occur as a result of her weak man’s wandering eye.

Ironically, her husband is probably engaged in wishful thinking, imagining how another woman would appreciate him more than his domineering spouse does.

Next up: Part 8: Romance

Earlier Posts: Part 1: Disrespect, Part 2: Anger, Part 3: Insecurity, Part 4: The Burden of Providing, Part 5: Sex, Part 6: What Sex Means to a Man

Note: Feldhahn's book, For Couple's Only, is actually a compilation of two books: For Women Only and For Men Only. In this series, I analyze the first. The summaries of each point were pulled from this post, by Jim Burns.

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Dr. John Alexander is an expert on marriage relationships and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about the Sigma Roles in marriage, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his page on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter.