I often compare marriage to a dance partnership that requires a strong lead. When a man knows how to fill this role, both partners will enjoy the dance. But when he doesn’t know the steps things get uncomfortable in a hurry. When a couple is stumbling across the dance floor, all a man can see is his partner’s missteps — it’s hard for him to recognize that not knowing the right steps makes him a poor partner.
In his excellent book, Excuses Begone!, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer addresses this principal perfectly. In chapter 8 he asks the reader to consider the following question:
Am I willing to take total responsibility for all the conditions of my life?
He goes on to say:
In the 1st century a.d., slave-turned-philosopher Epictetus offered this wisdom: “It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself.”
Blame must be supplanted by a willingness to look at everything that occurs in your life and choosing to think, I attracted and created it all, and I am happy to take full and sole responsibility for all of it. As an ancient Hindu proverb reminds us: “He who cannot dance claims the floor is uneven.” If you can’t dance, that’s your choice. But if you want to get out there and enjoy yourself, there’s nothing holding you back…except your excuses.
—————
Dr. John Alexander is relationship expert and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about Sigma Coaching, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his Facebook page, and follow him on Twitter.
No comments:
Post a Comment