Part 3. Men are insecure
Feldhahn’s Take
Men are afraid that they aren’t cutting it in life — not just at work, but at home, in their role as a husband. They may never vocalize this, but inwardly, they are secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Affirmation. To men, affirmation from their wives is everything! If they don’t receive this affirmation from their wives, they’ll seek it elsewhere. When they receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of their lives.
The Sigma Male Says
Once again, this view puts the onus for change on women.
“If you could just give your man a little affirmation, it would help him be more secure and help his vulnerability. Help your man feel confident.”
Oh, brother.
Most men are insecure! Why? Because even though a man might not be consciously aware of it, his genetic make-up screams at him when he is not acting like a Real Man, which makes him feel unconfident and insecure.
A Sigma Male is always secure and confident because he knows who he is and he is unafraid to act in his appropriate role. Incredible power, confidence and security comes when a man reestablishes his status as a Real Man. It doesn’t mean he is Superman or that he won’t make mistakes. But it does mean he has an inner confidence and calm that few others possess.
Next up: Part 4: The Burden of Providing
Earlier Posts: Part 1: Disrespect, Part 2: Anger
Note: Feldhahn's book, For Couple's Only, is actually a compilation of two books: For Women Only and For Men Only. In this series, I analyze the first. The summaries of each point were pulled from this post, by Jim Burns.
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Dr. John Alexander is an expert on marriage relationships and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about the Sigma Roles in marriage, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his page on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter.
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