A friend sent me a link to a post titled 13 Ways to be Happier. If you spend a lot of time reading self-help literature, it won't be long before you begin to hear the same things over and over. Does that make them valid? A good test for any advice is to see if it holds true across all aspects of your life.
Let's see if this list passes muster for a Sigma Male.
1. Let go of complaining
The law of the harvest states that you reap what you sow. IF you're constantly negative, you will attract negativity. I've heard men moan about how nice their wife used to be compared to how mean she is now. After listening to their incessant griping, it's not hard to imagine why their wife has changed over time.
Check.
2. Let go of having to always be right
A frequent difficulty encountered by men I coach is their insistence that they haven't done anything wrong--they are right and it is their wife who needs to change. The inability to look at your own faults makes it impossible to move beyond your present limitations. In order to be a Dragonslayer, you must accept this belief: You are 100% responsible for your marital problems, regardless of your wife's faults. This means you must give up your need to always be right!
Check.
3. Let go of any self-defeating ideas
I just can't make my wife happy. It doesn't matter what I do. She will never change. I'm so unappreciated.
Sound familiar? Let it go!
Check.
4. Let go of fears
What type of fears do men bring to their relationships? Their wife doesn't really love them? She might find somebody better? She might be right?
You don't have anything to fear if you focus on protecting your wife physically, emotionally, and socially. Women love Protectors--it's what they want!
Check.
5. Let go of attachment
The author's focus in on material items--not people. Men who believe that they can please their wife with material goods are barking up the wrong tree. Focus on giving a woman what she needs—not on filling her every want.
Check.
6. Let go of criticism
A Sigma Male protects his wife emotionally. Any form of criticism constitutes an emotional attack. It's hard to slay your wife's dragons when you are a dragon yourself.
Check.
7. Let go of blame
Modern Men blame their wife for their unhappy marriage. If their wife would just stop stepping on their toes, the dance would be much more enjoyable. If their wife would grant them more sex, they would be happy. She doesn't because she knows it won't solve the problem. Giving up blame goes hand-in-hand with always having to be right (see #2).
Next post: Happiness list, 8 - 13
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