Book Critique: For Women Only, Part 6 of 10: What Sex Means to a Man

Book Critique Part 6, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, Shaunti Feldhahn

Part 6. Sex means more than sex.

Feldhahn’s Take

When men feel their wives desire them sexually, it has a profound effect on the rest of their lives. It gives them an increasing sense of confidence and well-being that carries over into every other area of their life. The flipside of this coin also carries a profoundly negative affect. When a husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is rejecting him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting his life as a husband, provider and man. This is why making sex a priority in marriage is so incredibly important!

The Sigma Male Says

This is true, but the author has it backwards. Making sex a priority in marriage is a joke. By doing so, it will become a high priority for the man and a low priority for the woman (only on rare occasions the opposite will be true). Trying to get your partner to take up your priority as hers is next to impossible — especially where sex is concerned — and will become a source of frustration for most men.

Confidence and well-being lead to sex, not the other way around! When a man isn’t getting sex, he feels “rejected” — not because he isn’t getting sex, but because he knows his wife is calling the shots. Thus, he recognizes he is not in control of his relationship. Becoming a Sigma Male is the key to leading a woman to desire you sexually.

When a man becomes a Sigma, he feels like a Real Man. Only then does a he have what the Feldhahn describes as “confidence and well being,” because he is a Sigma — not because he is getting sex.

Next up: Part 7: Visual Stimulation

Earlier Posts: Part 1: Disrespect, Part 2: Anger, Part 3: Insecurity, Part 4: The Burden of Providing, Part 5: Sex

Note: Feldhahn's book, For Couple's Only, is actually a compilation of two books: For Women Only and For Men Only. In this series, I analyze the first. The summaries of each point were pulled from this post, by Jim Burns.

—————

Dr. John Alexander is an expert on marriage relationships and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about the Sigma Roles in marriage, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his page on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter.