George S. Pransky's book, The Relationship Handbook: A simple guide to satisfying relationships (ISBN 0971198802), is a lesser-known, self-published book that contains a number of strong insights into building a strong marriage. This book is worth reviewing as a supplement to my book, Dragonslayer, while working to overcome the disease of Gender Role Reversal.
Previous chapters: 1-A Fresh Start, 2-Compatibility, 3-Communication
Chapter 4: Moods
Pransky's Take
There is a connection between low moods and relationship disfunction. All conflicts happen when the participants are in low moods.
Pransky explains that the variable in all moods is security; as you feel secure, your mood rises, leading to better responsiveness and less reactivity.
Because thought patterns are dictated by mood, when we feel low our thinking increases, gravitating to problems and dissatisfaction. We experience a heightened and distorted sense of immediacy, feel self conscious, become pessimistic, and entertain negative thoughts, emotions and concerns.
While low moods produce “habitual circular, conditioned thought patterns," higher moods produce “vdiffuse, creative thought, allowing us to be relaxed, energetic, in good humor, patient, carefree, and compassionate."
The Sigma Male Says
Pransky’s thoughts align with accepted psychology: Moods are connected to relationship function/disfunction. This seems like a no-brainer. But he points out something even more important: The connection between security and mood.
When your wife feels secure, her mood will be elevated. In other words, when your wife is experiencing a low (bad) mood, it is an indication she does not feel the security that her husband—her Protector--should be providing.
Increase your ability to Protect and your mood will be elevated as well.
Next up: Emotions
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