In life no matter how hard you work at maintaining a good relationship, you are still bound to make mistakes. When you error, learning how to apologize quickly and effectively will help get things back on track.
However, as Lifehacker's Heidi Grant Halvorson points out in a recent blog post, most people make an apology about themselves by saying things like:
"I didn't mean to..."
"I was trying to..."
"I didn't realize..."
"I had a good reason..."
A Sigma never plays the victim. To make your apology meaningful, Halvorson makes the following suggestion:
Recognize the difference between a casual friend/stranger and a close friend/ partner
While a casual acquaintance or stranger can be happy with an offer of compensation ("I'm sorry I was a jerk and I'll make it up by being nicer later"), your wife prefers empathy ("I'm so sorry that I didn't appreciate all of your effort. You must have felt awful, and that's the last thing I want.").
When you express empathy, your wife feels valued or understood and your trespass will be more quickly forgiven.
Remember, it was your mistake that caused the injury and hurt. Being truly sorry means that you understand exactly how your actions affected your spouse.
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