Have you ever misinterpreted the meaning of a song because you liked the chorus — or because you only paid attention to a single line? It happens more often than you would believe, especially if the song has a catchy melody.
A classic example of this phenomenon is the classic tune “Every Breath You Take” by The Police. As the biggest hit of 1983, a multitude of couples chose it as their wedding song, in spite of the song’s actual meaning: Lost love and jealousy, accompanied by a bad case of serial stalking! It goes without saying that this isn’t the best choice for a wedding song. Said lead singer Sting to one couple, “Good luck. That song is very, very sinister and ugly.”
I wonder what songwriters Mark Nesler and Tony Martin had in mind when they penned the Tim McGraw hit “Just to See You Smile,” because I recognize a “Modern Man” anthem when I hear one.
A quick glance at the chorus (repeated multiple times) might lead you to believe the song has a sweet sentiment:
Just to see you smile
I'd do anything that you wanted me to
When all is said and done
I'd never count the cost
It's worth all that's lost
Just to see you smile
Sounds like it’s about a great guy who is willing to do anything for his sweetheart. But a careful listen to the entire song yields a different conclusion.
First verse:
You always had an eye for things that glittered
But I was far from being made of gold
I don't know how but I scraped up the money
I just never could quite tell you no
Roles in question: Protector and Presider
Analysis: Buying things you can’t afford leaves your partner open to financial dragons. Giving her a sparkly gift may result in a momentary smile, but she won’t be nearly as happy with your increasingly stressful debt load.
Second verse:
Just like when you were leaving Amarillo
Takin' that new job in Tennessee
And I quit mine so we could be together
I can't forget the way you looked at me
Roles in question: Protector and Provider
Analysis: Quitting your job to follow your spouse may seem like a gesture of true love, but things can really go downhill in a hurry if you forfeit a steady paycheck and she ends up having to support you.
Third verse:
When you said time was all you really needed
I walked away and let you have your space
'Cause leavin' didn't hurt me near as badly
As the tears I saw rollin' down your face
Role in question: Protector
Analysis: At this point, you have to wonder what this guy is thinking. He doesn’t seem to have sufficient strength or willingness to fight for his relationship. “Set if free and see if it returns” is patently passive behavior.
Fourth verse:
And yesterday I knew just what you wanted
When you came walkin' up to me with him
So I told you that I was happy for you
And given the chance I'd lie again
Roles in question: Protector, Provider, Presider
Analysis: Sadly, in typical Modern Man style, this guy mistakenly believes he couldn’t be the one to give his woman what she wanted: Someone who knows how to protect her. No surprise she finally ditches his pathetic Modern behavior in favor of a guy with backbone. Can you imagine? The love of your life introduces her new beau to you and all you can think about is making her smile…
I’ve got a suggestion: Learn how to Protect, Provide, and Preside — become a Sigma Male.
That’s a gesture that is guaranteed to put a permanent smile on your spouse’s face.
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Dr. John Alexander is relationship expert and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about Sigma Coaching, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his page on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter.
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