Out of Work? Better "Dig Deep!"

Ever wonder how losing your job affects your marriage?

USA Today's Regina Lewis summarizes research conducted at the University of Ohio and published by the American Journal of Sociology in this video:

Key point:

An employed woman is only more likely to initiate divorce than an unemployed woman if she reports being highly unsatisfied with the marriage. It's different for guys. They are more likely to leave a marriage, and they are more likely to be left if they are unemployed. Researchers involved with the study suspect this speaks to the fact that women working has become acceptable, but men not working does not sit as well.

Also:

If you find your marriage is strained by job loss, be mindful of the gender disparity. Women should not try to overcompensate, and men may need to dig deep for humility and resist the urge to flee.

Resisting the urge to flee is obvious, but what does it mean to be mindful of the gender disparity and dig deep for humility? More and more mainstream society is suggesting that men should “ swallow their pride, stay home, and become a “househusband.”

I disagree.

Men, if you lose your job you must work to become gainfully employed as soon as possible, even if it means taking a temporary job as a stop-gap measure. Your relationship happiness depends on you getting back in the game as soon as possible.

In their best-seller, Well Being: The Five Essential Elements, Tom Rath and Jim Harter address the connection between employment and a man’s sense of happiness. According to the authors, studies show that men can recover their well-being more rapidly after the death of a spouse than after a period of prolonged unemployment!

A key takeaway from USA Today’s report supports Rath and Harter’s assertion:

Your employment status may be the most telling harbinger of divorce.

Cashing an unemployment check week after week is the quickest way to start down that path, so avoid long-term unemployment at all costs.

Updated 7/17/2014 from a previous post

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Dr. John Alexander is an expert on marriage relationships and the author of The Sigma Male: What Women Really Want. To learn more about the Sigma Roles in marriage, visit his website, subscribe to his blog, “like” his page on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter.