According to an article in The National Enquirer, James Brolin and Barbra Streisand are headed for a cataclysmic $390 million divorce. While the merits of discussing a Hollywood break-up might be questionable — especially given the news source — I am often asked for advice about “hypothetical” marriage scenarios. Perhaps a quick analysis of Brolin’s situation might help other men who recognize similarities in their own marriages.
Background
Brolin has always been considered a man’s man, and he’s often offered the role of the handsome rake. At least some of that image has transferred to his personal life, as he’s been married three times.
If the Enquire has it right, Brolin and Streisand’s marriage is on the rocks because he “is sick and tired of his diva wife’s controlling ways, bossing him around and treating him like a second-rate citizen.” Sources also cite her crushing work schedule and lack of attention as causes of strife. “James often complains that when she’s not ordering him around, Barbra treats him like he doesn’t exist,” the article claims.
Apparently Streisand “screams and yells at him” and is overly involved in the life of her only child, 46 year old Jason.
From all appearances, Barbra is a real shrew, and a hypocritical one at that. She has been attributed (by many sources) with the following quote:
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?
Brolin is reportedly a laid-back personality, a fact verified by his son, Josh. Commenting on his father’s first marriage, Josh revealed, "My father is so passive and my mother was so aggressive that it became a joke. He'd be watering the plants kind of glassy-eyed; my mother would be screaming some obscenity about something to someone. It became like a Norman Rockwell gone wrong."
Most would say the couple's problems have been caused by the conflict between Streisand’s and Brolin’s personalities — dominant vs. passive.
While personality can predict the difficulty of holding a marriage together, it is not the root cause of marriage unhappiness.
Instead, let’s analyze the three roles a man must take on to become a Sigma Male in order to avoid a Gender Role Reversal — in my estimation the true cause of their marriage difficulties.
Sigma Role: Protector
Streisand’s reported concerns about her grown son’s health is an obvious dragon that Brolin chooses to downplay and ignore. While it may be true that she is going overboard in attempting to control her son’s life, her consternation is a red flag that she does not feel secure. Brolin’s dismissal of his wife's feelings effectively tells her that he is unwilling to protect her emotionally; therefore, she must deal with the issue herself.
Brolin appears to be an inadequate Protector.
Sigma Role: Provider
Although Brolin’s income may not match Streisand’s, he makes a healthy living. In fact, the article states that he has been taking on more and more roles in an effort to give himself space. Making less money than his wife is a non-issue where GRR is concerned.
Brolin appears to be an adequate Provider.
Sigma Role: Presider
“James feels that Barbra is taking him for granted because he’s always gone along with whatever she wanted,” says the Enquirer. By taking himself out of any decision-making process, Brolin abdicates his role as a Presider, effectively telling his wife that he is unable —or unwilling — to lead the dance.
Brolin appears to be an inadequate Presider.
Summary
Brolin is only one-for-three on the three Sigma roles. While that batting average may cut it in baseball, it’s bad news for a marriage. Whether Streisand is a diva or not isn’t the issue. Brolin knew what she was before he married her; in fact, the whole world celebrated her diva status years before their marriage took place. The real issue? Streisand is a strong, self-sufficient woman who married what she thought was a strong, protective male — a man who would provide her with complete security. Brolin's behavior tells her that she actually married a typical Modern Male who can’t — or won’t — give her what she wants.
No wonder she’s upset.
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